Amazing Pet
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everyting. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.
The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"
The owner says, "How about a cat?"
The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! a centipede!"
The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede."
He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... It's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed.
He is absolutely amazed.
He says to the centipede, "go clean the living room."
Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; Plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"
Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."
The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.
By this point the man is wondering what's going on. So he goes to the front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.
The man says, "hey!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"
The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just putting on my shoes!"
【参考中文翻译】
令人惊讶的宠物
有个人走进一家宠物店，跟老板说要买一只万能宠物。店老板建议他买只忠心的狗。
那个人回答：“得了吧，狗行吗？”
老板说：“那猫怎么样？”
那个人回答：“不行啦！猫当然不会是万能的。我要的是万能宠物！”
店老板想了一会儿说道：“有了！就是蜈蚣！”
那个人说：“蜈蚣？真难想象蜈蚣会是万能的，不过也好...我就买一条蜈蚣试试看。”
他把蜈蚣带回家后跟蜈蚣说：“去打扫厨房。”
过了三十分钟，他走进厨房一看...居然全部都干干净净的！所有的盘子和银制餐具都洗好、烘干、各归各位；厨具台面也清洁溜溜；每种用具都闪闪发亮；连地板都打了蜡。
他看得目瞪口呆、惊愕连连。
他跟蜈蚣说：“去打扫客厅。”
过了二十分钟，他走进客厅一看，地毯已用吸尘器吸过；加剧也擦得一尘不染；沙发上的枕头也已拍松；植物也浇了水。那个人心想：“我从来没看过这么神奇的事，这真的是一只万能宠物！”
接着他跟蜈蚣说：“去街角帮我买份报纸。”
蜈蚣于是走出大门。10分钟过去了...蜈蚣还没回来；20分钟过去了...蜈蚣还没回来；30分钟过去了...蜈蚣还是没有回来。
那个人开始纳闷到底发生了什么事，于是走到大门打开一看...蜈蚣居然就坐在外面。
那个人说：“我不是45分钟前就叫你去街角的商店帮我买份报纸吗？到底是怎么回事？”
蜈蚣说：“这就去！这就去！我的鞋子快穿好了！”
